In an ideal situation, you should try to meditate in the same space because continued meditation in the same space does build a reservoir of calm energy in the space.
The space should also ideally be clutter-free.
However, if you are waiting to meditate because you do not have a clutter-free space, just go ahead and start.
As your mind gets clearer and calmer, the space around you will begin to clear up.
This is because our outer world becomes a reflection of our inner world.
More about that thought later.
There is no wrong way to meditate.
Think back to a time when you were terrified. Do you remember gasping?
We gasp when we are in fight or flight – we take a deep breath in to make sure that the body has enough oxygen so it is prepared to fight or flee. Along with the gasp, your muscles tense up; your stomach tightens, your shoulders hunch upwards, your forehead scrunches up.
Take a deep breath and let it go with a sigh, notice how your body relaxes. Your shoulders naturally slump downwards. Mental relaxation produces relaxation in the body.
When your mind is relaxed, your body responds.
The mind-body connection is a two-way street.
This means that if we relax the body, we can relax the mind.
This is one of the ways in which a regular meditation practice can help.
Think about what you do when you try meditation, you sit down, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. As you pay attention to your breath it will imperceptibly slow down. As all this happens your body relaxes. This physiological relaxation by itself will change your state of mind.
This is why there is no “wrong” way to meditate.
She had big dreams when she was little. She expected to be seen and heard and be something special & Yes – that she would be famous. That her life had made a difference.
Now she is upper middle class with sufficient income to spare. She is Middle-Aged. To everyone else, she appears to have her stuff together. She has a ready smile but it feels like the smile does not quite reach her eyes. A look into her eyes suggests that she is lost, lost & sad – like a child who has lost her favorite toy. She is lost because life did not quite turn out as she had expected. She looks wistfully at the bubbly girl in the cafe and wonders where her bubbly went. She finds herself getting really irritated at her friends & family who make statements such as “ Of course you are important. You are a mother. You are a wife. You have a good job!”
It is as if all of her dreams never mattered. Now she is supposed to only care about the other people. OMG – that makes her so mad & she feels so frustrated and very very sad.
Is it too late? Is her only option to live out her dreams vicariously through her kids & husband?
Looking from the outside, she has no reason to be frustrated. She has a “good” life.
No one knows that she spends several nights sobbing for her lost dreams. Even worse, she resents everyone around her. She dare not let this frustration show – she does not want to hurt her kids or her husband. But she knows it is felt – her husband especially has felt her disengagement. She is stuck. She does not know where to go & who to turn to.
She has listened to several podcasts about finding her purpose & read “ Big Magic” & Eat, Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. She cannot do stuff like that though. She cannot just up & leave. Heck, she does not even know if she cares to approach a coach about this. She has dipped her toes into the coaching world. Done some online courses, free webinars, etc. She just has not taken any big steps. Just the thought of sharing these feelings & wanting to do more with her husband feels terrifying. What if her perfect, idyllic picture book life ( at least from the outside) fell apart? What if she did something stupid? Deciding not to do anything feels like death though & doing something is terrifying.
Do you recognize this person? Are you feeling stuck? Do you think you are alone fighting with these demons of dissatisfaction? Are you spending nights sobbing about your lost dreams? OR Are you afraid to even admit that you had dreams?
I want you to know that you are not alone!
I started my podcast ” This Is Your Time to Shine”. to show you that you are not alone. Listen to get your shine back because This IS your time to shine. In this podcast, I talk to women who have lived this and found ways out of this dilemma. Some blew up their life, many did not. However it worked out, they resolved it and in these conversations, we talk about how they did that. These are wonderful conversations that you absolutely should listen to if the lady in the vignette above spoke to you. Each speaker also provides a FREE gift to help you work through this dilemma using the tools they used.